De-stressDivorceEncouragement

Helping Hand

We all know it’s a good thing to help others. It even makes us feel good to do it. But what if you are the one who needs help? Do you feel comfortable asking for it? Do you think you should be able to do it all on your own? Do you think you somehow don’t deserve the help?
We have all the excuses in the world for NOT asking for help. “I don’t want to bother anyone.” “They have enough of their own problems. They don’t need to add mine.” “Oh, they are too busy.” “I don’t know how I would pay them back.” And of course, “I should be able to handle this all by myself.” So we struggle along, doing it all on our own, often even resenting our friends and family for NOT helping us. How crazy is that?
I know all of the excuses because I am the worst at asking for assistance. But a few days ago, I needed some help for my son. I couldn’t do it myself because we live in different states. My son was heading out of town for something very important to him and he didn’t have any extra time. On the way, he had a tire blow out. He did not have a spare (that’s another story). His dad lives close to him, but he was unable to reach him, or anyone else he knew, so he called me for advice. I was wracking my brain, trying to figure out how I could help him. Then I remembered a conversation I had with a very good friend before I moved out of state. I was feeling a little guilty about moving and “abandoning” my son (he’s 22). My friend told me that if my son ever needed anything, all he had to do was call and my friend would be there for him. My son was on the side of the road in a panic, afraid he would miss the trip. This definitely qualified as “needing anything.” Still, I hesitated, my mind going through all the above listed excuses. Then I asked myself what I would do if it was one of my friend’s kids who needed help. Of course I would drop everything and do whatever I needed to do. And I would be happy to do it. So I told my son to call my friend. He did. My friend came through for him, and was happy to be able to do so, just as I would have been. My friend said he was grateful to get the call, because he was so appreciative of some things I had had done for him previously. He actually thanked me for allowing him to assist my son. It turned out that in asking my friend for help, I actually gave him a gift.
When someone offers to help you, take it at face value. It means they really do want to help you. Obviously, don’t abuse the offer, but when you need the help, ask for the help. You AND THEY will be glad you did.